To my Warned

you probably know the story, if you’re reading this
when I reminded you so often
but still
I wish I didn’t have to write you letters
I always did
you knew “I couldn’t love”                             not the way he wanted
but                      or you
well I can
just
consequences ingrained since ring too true now
there’s a switchboard I address
watching over all the buttons you decide to press
but there’s one that overrides
as soon as you sound the same
I break the fall and that’s me
grounded
it’s unfair
I know
otherwise           I was in the safest hands
kindest gentlest                     I know
but every endearment after was cut at the knee
as lovely as stumpy is that part is always missing
that was a bad analogy
but my point…
I only write about the things I care about
better or worse
always
and I know there’s no way to rehearse goodbye
so I won’t try to
I’m sorry it wasn’t clear
I wasn’t
but whatever you’ve concluded
I’ll be here if you need me
I’m sorry I wasn’t
it’s not an excuse
I know

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