Where I Go

 

don’t ask me where I go when my eyes are closed
because the truth is
I don’t know
an extra layer of skin across the veil to keep you from getting
in?
maybe.
perhaps my eyes would only lie anyway
why when you poke and prod and grab
I’m only half giving hand
giving a head full of what you think and what you learned
I still won’t let you in
or maybe
I won’t let me out
to shot and press against you wild one
found dancing down the aisles and laughing at the styles that make no sense to me
but you get it                                  you get it
so I hold you to my throat
and pull the throbbing temple songs I wrote when I was gasping and there was blood behind my eyes
I keep them shut
so you won’t see the soul inside
the child
mouth opened wide for molten mother to check her speck
and whipping round the ankles she won’t forget who’s who
or what’s what
the truth is
I never forgot
why
but I’d rather be shot at dawn
than admit it